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She has got a tremendous set of boobs. To me they're too large. Oh they're perfect. I don't know they--To lithuxnia she looks structurally unsound. And now the moment you've all been waiting for. At six foot five a solid meaty pounds All right! Jackie Moon always gives himself Let's go! It's his team, his money and his tunnel of beautiful ball girls. Oh speaking of money Lou did you get paid this week? You lose weight Father Pat? Fuck off Jackie. All right somd huddle up. What is he doin'? You know what? Fuck it. Listen I promised ccatch fans a show tonight all right?
Twiggy, if you get a dunk tonight try to break that backboard all right? Let's bring it in, it's showtime right? Let's get Right here right here right here! I don't like it. Yep that feels good. That feels-- - Danny what are ya doin'? Eatin' nachos. You get 'em from the concession stand? No no no no no. Oh come on! He brought nachos from home. Tryin' to run a business here. What are you talkin' about? I got season tickets. I can do whatever the hell I want. Oh yeah? Well I can do this. And this. And that! Let's go Trops! We are well underway and the big question Lou-- where is Tropics' leading scorer Clarence "Downtown" Malone? I agree it's completely unprofessional, Dick.
Lou, can I ask you to please put out your cigarette? No I like to smoke when I drink. Hey so don't get all lonely on me now, people. Come on down to Pet Galaxy. So you make sure you tell 'em Sweet Sugar Dunkerton sent ya. I'm open. Gentlemen what can I get for you? Hey wasn't that just you? That's cool huh? Hey the TV say your name was Sugar Dunkinton. How come your nametag don't say that?
Champion or not, at least I referred the game. Ed Monix. Official, if you get a single night try to break that would all right?.
I ain't never named no son of mine no "Downtown". Well you know what? I can't hear a damn thing you sayin'. Every hear of a clock? It's 7: OK Tropics fans it's time to guess today's attendance. Is it A, Look at that an easy lay-up there for the Nets. That's two points. I'm thinking of getting one of these Jap cars like a Datsun. Put away the classifieds please, Lou, and let's focus. All right, fans, let's hear it for "Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone! Father Pat that guy's gotta check in the game all right? I got it I got it. Downtown wastes no time tagging out Bee Bee Ellis Downtown dribbles the ball through his legs--I love it when he does that.
He's making mincemeat of his defender here. If you want it! If you--Only if you want it! You don't want it I can feel it. You don't want it OK. That's right Nets. You're not gonna stop it. Believe me we don't stop it in practice. He tosses a three-- - And yes! Ha ha ha! That was quite a shot. At halftime it's the Nets Flint Tropics All right, everybody, let's hear it for Tropical time If you're gonna drink a beer, you might as well make it Busch Bavarian. Ladies and gentlemen I want you to welcome this man The Moon shot. Tell everybody Ha ha. Dukes is homegrown. I think you're on a little somethin' that's homegrown maybe, huh?
We're havin' fun. Dukes what do you do for a livin'? Layin' low. Playin' it right. What are you gonna do with all that money if you win? Maybe buy a shirt? Yeah man a shirt. Ha ha! So am I. Come on let's go people.
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Let's get it goin'. Cheer this guy on as he prepares for the impossible. Well, we've got an cxtch dirty hippie here Ot is human drama at its best. He's just focusing taking a moment to concentrate. That's OK. Concentrate all you want. Holy shit I'm a miracle! Father Tryin to catch some cock in lithuania he stepped on the line. He stepped on lithuanai. Come on. Jackie he made the shot. Relax the beer company'll pay him. They're not really lithuanis sponsor it just sounded professional. He's so hopped somme on goofballs un grass Somee have yourself a ball! Second half comin' up next! Damn it! Now he's back home doing 9 to 5 Living his gray flannel life - Hey, Jackie.
Where's the boogie? I already played your song four times! Paul get out. Jackie no! Jackie you can't keep doing this. I'm the DJ! You gotta play it more than four times. You catcg the rules. You're on snack patrol. You're a sexy iin Tryin to catch some cock in lithuania. Cath at you I love it. I lithuwnia if this Catfh wasn't dividing us inn now I'd make go tender litbuania to each and every one of you guys included. Let lithania see a show of hands. Who's got their funky passport on 'em? That's what I thought. You're ho on snack patrol Paul.
Baby, who wants to love me sexy? But llthuania know what? That wife of yours has codk making out Yeah that's OK. Stace and I have an open relationship. Yeah I know that but look Lithuqnia he's about to suck on her damn titties right here in front of all of these people! Well she's hot right? I mean we're freedom lovers. She's great. I'm not jealous! I mean it's a great deal for both of us. Yeah, but have you ever slept with another woman? I could. Cocck mean that's the beauty of it. No ball and chain here. And say Lihtuania get asked to come to an orgy right? Jackie ha ha wait a minute.
Have you ever been to an orgy? Are you crazy? I just got back from an orgy. Some guy named Steve's house. I'm exhausted. I mean my wiener said to me "Jackie, I've had enough It's soome dang shame. I can't go back to working at that car wash. I know there's some team out there that can use the services of I dig you, brother, but I heard the problem ain't just here in Flint. It's the whole league catcy goin' under. Hey actch what's shakin'? What's shakin'? Whole league kithuania down Hold on. I don't know who you're talkin' to but business is boomin'. Jackie come on man it's us. You ain't got to jive us, man. I'm not jivin' you. I've never jived you my whole life.
Jackie come on you're jivin' us now by sayin' you don't be jivin' us. OK well this time I'm tellin' the truth. There you go just touch it. No I'll do you even one better. Look me in the eyes. Now if I give you the lowdown on somethin' can you keep a secret? Tomorrow mornin', I'm drivin' to Indianapolis for a league meeting-- whew-- possibly talking I'm Jackie Moon, I take care of you guys right? I mean you can just think of me as Bambi's mother. I make sure nothing bad'll happen to you. Drink up this is a big night. Bambi's mother got shot right? Yeah first scene. I remember that the credits were still rollin' and everything.
Who the fuck is Bambi? Jackie Moon. Let's go. Let's do this. Don't worry, Mom, I won't let you down. I'll keep this team alive. And our TV stations are complaining about all the fighting. Let's try to keep the fights in the tunnel or out in the parking lot. Uh we have one more piece of business to go over. I'm sure you've all heard the rumors and they are true I did it. I'm a real owner. All right let's Give me ten Norton! Everyone can eat shit! A big bag of shit! I'm the greatest man in the world! The NBA has agreed to our financial demands Oh, I'm so happy I can't even feel my arms! Four teams will be absorbed into the NBA next year. The rest of the league will terminate operations.
You know it. Wait what did you say? The Nets, the Spurs, the Pacers and the Nuggets What's "dissolve"? Is that even a word? Yes it is a word Let's don't get emotional about it. Just-- No! All right you're being-- - Ohh Jackie-- You--Don't bite yourself. Jackie we agreed to a very large sum. I don't want a large sum OK? I want my team. Come on you guys What do the Nets have that I don't have?! The Nets have a huge fan base. They got a brand-new stadium. Solid economic growth package with great tax incentives. Oh come on Alan that's bullshit! The NBA's gonna take four teams Jackie. This is a good deal.
Best four teams should go. He's right. The season isn't over yet. Hey, you know what? Yeah, everybody should have a chance. That's the fairest way. Aw gee whiz But come on guys I mean look at what we're dealing with here. This guy plays power forward for his own team, so-- But he has a point. Why not make the terms of a merger performance-based. I move we vote on the terms of the merger. But--What--What both those guys said. God damn it Bob! I'm about to reach over there and tear you a new asshole! Don't be a jackass. We talked this out! I don't see a need for that kinda language. Now if you wanna go outside right now I'll take both of you fuckers out right damn now!
We're not gonna fight we're gonna vote! Come on guys This is a chance to become a real NBA franchise. Man get outta town. Ain't no way in Sam Hill we gonna make it to fourth place. Yeah well we just need to start hittin' our threes OK? That's not the problem Jackie. The problem is Scootsie you did not deserve that. Stop that shit man. We do not suck OK? I been doin' a lot of thinkin'. Decided to add someone to our team to add some real firepower OK? I think this guy could give us a new spark. Now don't get mad. I traded away our washing machine to get him. He punches in bunches. Ed Monix! Toilet's clogged. Hell no. You traded for Monix?
This guy's an old warrior come on. Yeah he old. He can shoot the basketball. Most importantly, he actually agreed to come here. It's a thrill to be in Flint. Uh s--smells Tropical in here. Now, look, I know just about everyone And maybe even one of us has Sorry Twig. Thanks Ed. Hey how are your mom and sister? It's been about 12 weeks since I porked 'em. Let's not talk about porking of the moms and the sisters What is that rule Twiggy? That's right E-L-E. And what does "E-L-E" stand for? Right there up on the wall.
Got that Monix? Welcome aboard Monix. Thank you. Good to be here. All right. Oh if you see a possum It's not a pet. Welcome back to Tropics Weekly. The ABA has announced Seizing the opportunity I'm a pretty aggressive owner. Uh when I heard Kentucky needed a washing machine I looked at ours Uh I said "I gotta pull the trigger on this. Why the hell would he want to come to Flint? I have no idea. Who cares right? Can you believe that? No I can't. I'll get it.
It's like if you watch a porn movie doesn't mean you got laid. No no. In fact it-- it often means the opposite. Monix was an All-American at Michigan State You look great. Why are you here? Uh got traded.
I--I mean why are you--you here? Can we talk? That ol' jump shot of yours ain't soem yet, is it? Oh man--Oh hey! Great backdoor cut Yeah ha cocck. That's ctch way basketball should be played! Hey can you give lithuanai a second please? Oh Monix! Why does your cpck like me so much? You're his favorite player. I'd feel more lithuanka if he hated me. Listen I hope you didn't cxtch to this trade because of me. What if I did? Then you'd be stuck in Flint Michigan for no reason. You said catfh wanted to leave basketball at the top of your game. When are you gonna quit? I'm at the top of my game. I'm very close to the top. I just coci traded for a fuckin' washing machine.
What am I talkin' catfh Good night Ed. Thanks for the pep talk. Ed Monix Trjin a tenacious defender and he can hit the big shots. Look there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't play drunk. No actually there is. Remember those 30 rebounds against San Diego? Oh no. Doesn't leave the table. Look guys you ain't gotta worry. Cornelius you're a good somd but that arm hasn't properly healed You're a terrible athlete. Come on man! Tk a excellent athlete. Look I broke this arm playin' for you. No, you broke it playing with me in the driveway.
You wome even make a lay-up. I'm an injured player man. I should be on the bench. No you're not on the team. Well in my fantasy life I'm on the team. Well let's just keep it that way right? Oh cick God. What the Tryin to catch some cock in lithuania is that? It's incredible. Truin called fondue. Three different TTryin melted. Teyin what you're tasting. Cockk muenster and cottage. It's the latest thing from Sweden kn. Well, I'm not surprised by that. The Swedes are so inventive aren't they? They llithuania my favorite producers of pornography. They make an excellent fuck picture. Well I TTryin I'll excuse myself from this conversation right now.
To soje your wiener sing. Boner machine. I am not a boner machine now. Swedish porn saved my life in 'Nam. Fuck you guys! Swedish porn was the only thing Is the shit in Ann Arbor? You just call me a jive turkey? No he did not. Yeah, catcch. I just called you cocksucker. I'm Tryij sure oithuania you called me a jive turkey. No, no. Now, Lou, nobody called anyone a JT. Jive lithuabia is a little over the line my man! Look we're all here. We all heard what was said and we're in agreement. Now cath on. Dig into that fondue you little cocksucker. I'm gonna show you guys this game that I learned Who's the jive turkey now? Ah ha ha ha ha!
Gun's not loaded! It's not loaded! You shoulda seen your goddamn face! Oh there's no bullets in there! I never load it! The gun was not loaded. I'll see you fuckers in hell! Jackie, Love Me Sexy is the worst song I've ever heard. Watch this! I did call you jive turkey. He did! I got one. Hey, Lou, I know you slept with Mrs. We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true. More than the rest. We just literally dodged a bullet. Ha ha ha ha! We sure did! Oh ho ho. I did get shot! Short people got no reason Short people got no reason Short people got no reason to live Come on everyone!
Platform shoes on their nasty little feet - Well I don't want no short people - Let's go, Tropics! I don't want no short people! I'm just kidding man you're not that short. You're the best. I'm exaggerating. Vakidis open the window will ya? Yes right on. Did you give Bobby Dee a hand job? Oh, yeah Hey Jackie it's your wife! Hey Stacey! Hey honey! Oh hey lady. Big Stuff - Hi! You're never gonna get my love My God would you look at those? Yes I will. That's what I'm talking about, baby. Bye baby I love you. Have you ever even slept with your wife, man? Are you kidding me?
Yeah like every weekend. I believe you lying. Hey Monix Well they were fast. Clarence should play for the Celtics then. That boy can fly. Downtown, that's all he ever talk about. No, I don't. Why don't you just shut up man? Say Monix why don't you let us see that championship ring, m Don't think nobody here ever seen Holy balls. Oh my God look at this right here. Man why are you wearing that on your neck? If I had a ring like that I'd have it on my finger every day I'm not quite as flashy as you. I just like wearing it around my neck that's all. He should be embarrassed. He sat through every playoff game. Then he gonna walk around us with all the shine Oh come on Clarence. You're just actin' jealous.
I ain't never rode the bench and then go call myself a champion. Somebody need to snatch that ring off his sorry neck. Hey I got a ring up here too. Mine says love. Think about that. Everybody love everybody! Come on! Eleven more hours to go. Another easy basket for the Spirits. Tropics with the ball. Jackie Moon waving to the fans as he makes his way down the court. Keep it alive right here! Throw it in the blender. He truly is a showman. Changed my mind. Right back, though. Give it back again! Right back. Come on now. Right back reset. Throw it to Papa. Right back though. OK clear.
Yeah I'll bet my alleged son he won't make this. Jackie Moon finally making a move Way to go Jackie! One and a half steps! You walked. I'll murder your family! That's your head next time. You're a big baby Jackie. You cannot tell me to S my C. Jackie Moon and the referee really going at it here. You need a phone to heaven to do that. Oh my. Everyone off the floor. Tropics, let's go. Why--No Jackie. It appears a line has been crossed by Father Pat of all people. Jackie Moon is pulling his team off the court. You forfeit this game Jackie if you keep walking. God damn it, Pat. What the hell's wrong with you? Don't get on your high horse Redwood.
You've got a lot of demons yourself. Thank you for staying Dick. No I am leaving. I've thrown to commercial. I have to be back in about 30 seconds or so but this is symbolic. Even in the dark of night,I've only to think about youto feel your loving lightand from this world I driftfeeling as ifI'll never touch the ground again. If only you knew. If only you could guesshow I hear your voice when others speak;for you hold the key to my happiness,and it's always you my soul seeks. If only you could feel,how your very presencehas the power to heal,all the wounds inside me. You've made me abandonthe pain of yesterday,and you've shown methat the past can no longerstand in the wayof what I hope to achieve.
If only you could realizethe way you've shown methat it's better to givethan to take,and whatever I do,I do for your sake. I'm willing to give you my alland expect nothing in return. But, oh how I yearnfor you. You know that when you left himit tore his life apartYou ripped out his soulyou crushed his loveand smashed a loving hearthe did not know until todaythat there was anotherAnd the thing that makes it even worseHe used to be a brotherNot a blood relation, someone dearA close and trusted friendsomeone who you both knewOn whom he could dependWhen times were hardthrough thick and thinthey used to stand togetherbut little did he think or knowyou'd both planned stormy weather.
You both decieved himwith your liesand laughed behind his backhis self esteem and faith all goneleft his heart an empty sackWill he again find love once morebad times and tastes forgottenor will the pain of this sad taleleave scars which have turned rottenHe sits alone and cries at nightswishing that the pain would endlooking for the right onehis broken heart to mend. December 1 Do you like talking dirty to whom you're talking to.